Review: 50 Cent: Bulletproof: G-Unit Edition (PSP)

You're actually reading this, aren't you? There are three possible conclusions to draw from that: either you love 50 Cent and you're desperate for good news at the end of the page, or you're just hoping for a review so negative it's worth reading for entertainment value. Or you read everything on here, and for that, Gamestyle salutes you.

Everyone except the ardent Gamestyle fans are going to be disappointed here, unfortunately. 50 Cent fans, this game isn't very good. For the people wanting it to be torn to bits savagely, it isn't that bad either. It's the definition of average - nothing more, nothing less.

In fact, after playing the first level, there is every chance you'll think the game is quite good in a simple, fun way. The one word that fits it better than all others isn't "gangsta" or even anything similar, it's "retro", as in old games. It feels amazingly old-fashioned and even has little numbers popping up telling you how much damage each shot is doing. Quaint. Basically, imagine "Chaos Engine", ruin it slightly and play a 50 Cent album over the top and that's it.

For those of you that don't remember Amiga classics from the early nineties, that means that this isn't a first person shooter like the console versions; it's viewed from above, although not quite vertically. It gives it a very different feel which manages to makes it feel accessible, more immediate and more fun, which is exactly what a handheld game should be.

Unfortunately, it also brings about a couple of problems, one of which spoils the whole game. The camera slips behind buildings every now and again, but rarely gets in the way; although the fact it happens at all proves the game is extremely badly planned. The buildings could have been made shorter to avoid such problems easily. The camera is much, much too close to the action and ruins every single second of the game. Enemies appear with no warning because you can't see in front of you. It removes any possibility for planning, any forethought and generally makes things awkward. Presumably it was done so that 50 Cent was more obvious onscreen but that is a poor excuse.

It seems clear that the developers knew how awkward the camera made things and have reacted by making the whole game incredibly easy. The first level, as mentioned above, is really good fun and feels like it is showing you the ropes of a game that will rapidly get harder but it never happens. There really is no progression in difficulty at all. Enemies appear only ten feet in front of you but that is easily enough time to take them down without worry. It only takes a few shots and auto-aiming ensures you won't miss. In case it wasn't easy enough already, there are instant-kill special moves activated by a single button press to make things even simpler. Pressing square steals their weapon and kills them with it in a gory cutscene wheras pressing circle executes them. It really would have made more sense to make these moves harder to pull off. This wouldn't be the first game to feature easy to kill enemies though, but most try and cover it up by sending vast numbers at once - this doesn't. You'll only ever be attacked in dribs and drabs and that makes it all too easy as well as boring.

Bosses don't really make sense in a game meant to be based on "reality", but they've been included anyway. Sadly this still isn't taken as an opportunity to add a challenge to the game, as they can be quickly defeated by moving in close, emptying guns at them and moving away to reload a couple of times. There are no tactics needed, just keep blasting away until they die. It's insultingly simple, even for the most inept gangster. If something does go wrong, luckilly there are enough pain-killers scattered around the game to keep a reasonable sized hospital stocked, let alone one man who claims to be bullet-proof anyway. Combine how easy it is with the fact it is actually quite a short game and most players will see the end quite quickly.

As far as extras go, searching dead enemies gives cash and jewellery which can be spent in the hood. You can buy clothes (that you can at least admire thanks to the poor camera placement) and weaponary, although the latter feels like a waste of money with guns so easy to get hold of in the levels themselves. More music can also be bought, which obviously is only of interest if you like 50 Cent's music, but if you've got as far as deciding what you are spending your in-game money on you must do. The story is gritty and doesn't hold back at all, glorifying the "heroic" 50 Cent while boasting about all his illegal actions. If you try and apply logic to the story it does start to fall apart a little, but as it is constantly forced to introduce identical levels that seems understandable. There are worse game stories around but there are also much, much better ones too.

It's impossible to understand how the developers came so close to making a good game and then failed so thoroughly. Looking down on your protagonist running and gunning is something that doesn't age, combined with modern extras and a gritty story and you've got a good, if unoriginal, game. Ruin it with a stupidly placed camera and make it unbelievably simple to complete and you've got a waste of money. If you're a massive 50 Cent fan this is the game to go for and there is a little fun to be had from it. Other people, ignore it completely. It came close to blowing pessimistic expectations away but sadly such pessimism proved, well, bullet-proof.

Rating: 5 / 10

Words by Andrew Revell